NYC Epiphany

I remember two years ago, when I was a second semester senior, having an anxiety attack in my room on a beautiful, Saturday morning. T-minus five months until graduation. I didn't have a job, a place to live, any source of income, and seemingly no fruits to bear from my four years of labor throughout college. And it made me increasingly angry as time went on.

I still have plenty of friends left in college, and I'm beginning to see the mid-year panic flash across my timelines and news feeds. I know the feeling all too well. The feeling of bewilderment and excruciating patience. The feeling that everyone else around you has their plans figured out and you're just floating about. The old adage: "By the time you graduate, you should have your life together." Well, I have come to tell you that it's complete and utter bullshit. 

Last week, I went to New Jersey to visit one of my best friends. She had bought tickets for a party called HennyPalooza in NYC. Essentially, you paid for a ticket and it granted you access to the club, all the Hennessy you want, and overall just a great time. It was at Tammany Hall in the Lower East Side, so off we went to party. Much to my surprise, when I walked in, I'd have to say we were on the younger side of the crowd. Most participants appeared to be in their late 20's, maybe even early 30's, but they were all having the time of their life. The drinks were flowing and the music was bumping. This was refreshing in comparison to the debauchery of college club life. There was no fighting or swearing, no lame music, no malice between the groups of girls. It was probably the best night I've had in years. At one point in the night, I was standing next to a man at the bar and we struck up a friendly conversation while waiting for the bartender about where we were from and how we got here. He was 29 years old but as soon as he stated his age, he followed with, "Hey, I'm just trying to have a good time! What's the rush, right?"

I don't think I've ever been able to express my thoughts on post-graduation misconceptions better than this gentleman. What's…the…rush. Now is the time in life that we're allowed to make mistakes because we don't know any better. I'm currently in the process of attempting to transition back into graduate school while substitute teaching, which doesn't hold a candle financially to the salary I had when I worked previously in Sales. But you know what? I am one thousand times happier working an hourly wage, in a classroom with amazing second grade children, than I ever was with a full-time salary. I'm sure I spend money I don't have, sleep six hours a night when I should be sleeping ten, blow my weekends in NYC, but isn't that what life is all about? 

To all those 20-somethings in panic mode about graduation, my advice to you is this: don't forget to have fun. We are SO young. So incredibly young and vibrant and full of life. We will never get our 20s back, so don't we want to make the most of it? Speaking from experience, I can tell you the following:

• Money will always come. You may not like the manner in which you have to get it (ie. working retail, food service, temp work, etc.), but it's always possible. We have to pay our dues before the picturesque vision of work in our minds comes to fruition. 
• Living at home is not the end of the world. I have lived at home from the time I graduated and you may not be the coolest kid around, but you are saving money. And once you see how much living on your own costs, you may think about extending your stay for financial purposes.
• Never give up looking for jobs. You may have to apply for several hours a day, but don't give up. Someone out there will find your resume and realize what a wonderful candidate you are for their business. The process can often be painstaking and sad, but don't give up on yourself and your integrity! 
• Do something to keep you busy while you're unemployed. Write. Dance. Sing. Create. Anything that keeps your mind active.

My most important piece of advice about graduating: HAVE FUN! It's going to be tough, I'll tell you upfront. Your friends are going to move away and you're going to have to force yourself to get out and meet new people or travel on the weekends to see your friends, and you must! You are on the cusp of your 20s, the most exciting, forgiving, amazing, free-spirited time of your life. For a year after graduation, I wallowed in the idea that all my friends had left me, I didn't have a job, and I rendered myself useless. I deeply regret this.

There's plenty of time left in our lives to have our shit together. Somewhere in the cosmos, I think we all have a plan waiting for us and everything will fall into place exactly as it should. But in the mean time, why not make the best of it? 

xo Jessica